This is really raw and describes depression so well.
This post is for the reader who came to my blog using the search term “can a mental illness cause a man to cheat”. Don’t worry, I don’t know who you are. I don’t even know if you followed my blog once you got here. But I hope that this post will reach you.
I don’t know your story and I don’t know your partner’s but I do know this: mental illness or not, your partner does not have the right to hurt you. Mental illness is not a “free pass” to do as we please to those we love or to those who love us.
Perhaps you are searching for a way to explain away a recent betrayal. I can understand that only too well. Regardless of the situation please know that your partner is not more important than you. Your emotions and needs are just as important as his. And you need to take care of you.
Living with a mentally ill partner can be exhausting and emotionally demanding. It’s okay to admit that. It’s okay to need help. Its okay to need give-and-take. It’s okay to need. If you need to talk about you and how you can cope with your partner’s illness please seek out a counsellor or a support group. Please value yourself as equal to your partner. Never let another person devalue you or reduce you to a secondary character in your own life story.
I found this over at The War in my Brain and it reminded me of the first days of email. I would get so excited about these!
Who was your strangest crush?
John Malkiovich. I think he’s approx 100 years old but I loved him. Somewhat reinforced by his recent awesomeness.
Do you have any irrational fears?
I will perform all kinds of acrobatic leg-holding-door-arm-reaching-lightswitch manoeuvres to avoid being in my hallway, or any hallway for that matter, in the dark.
Describe your guilty pleasures.
Romance novels. Especially historical ones. I love a good heaving bosom and a forced marriage to a brooding but sensitive Darcy-type.
What is the main thing that attracts you to the opposite sex?
There has to be a physical attraction. thats what might catch my eye initially. But it’s the sense of humour that deals the deal. A guy has to be able to have the banter & match what I dish out.
What is the wildest thing you have ever done so far?
Quit my job to travel the world solo when I’d never so much as eaten alone in a restaurant before.
What is your worst fear?
Snakes. Always has been. I’m trying to be more rational about it but some places I just won’t go eg. Australian bush walking, India, a reptile house.
What is one thing you do regularly that you would never want to be caught doing?
See guilty pleasures!
If you only had 24 hours left to live, what would you do?
Spend it eating chocolate cake with the people I love most in the world. I’d be selfish & selective, only having the exact people I wanted in the room, knowing I’d not have to deal with hurt feelings & recriminations afterwards. Two of those people would be Ben & Jerry!
What is the meanest thing you have ever done?
I stole money from the Lent charity box in my house when I was a kid. To buy sweets. Not exactly murder, but it was a pretty shitty thing to do.
What is the best thing you have ever gotten away with?
I’m pretty sure I should have failed my driving test in a spectacular fashion. I stalled the car twice & almost hit a truck. But somehow I passed.
What is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten?
Raw eel. Cooked, tastes like chicken. Raw, it’s textured how I imagine a snake would be. Based on entry above you can imagine how we’ll that went down…or didn’t in this case!
If you were born again, would you be willing to be born a different sex than you are?
I would actively want to be. Just to see if it made a difference. I’m also fascinated by the whole sex-organ-stuck-onto-the-body thing.
What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve done to get the attention of someone of the opposite sex?
Nothing really. I’m too reserved and often too surprised by the attention to even realise its on me.
What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had?
Years ago I dreamt that I was pregnant and in hospital but my bed was in the morgue. All the other occupants were on slabs with a sheet over their faces. My bed had a little locker & a reading light. When I woke up I reached down to pat my bump & when I discovered it gone I experienced the most devastating rush of loss & panic. It took me several hours to shake it off.
What is the worst thing about being your gender?
Periods. Leg shaving. The ‘glass ceiling’.
What is the last lie you told?
Yes, I’ll follow you down to the cafe for breakfast in just a jiffy darling…<door closes>…zzzzzzz
When is the last time you were caught in a lie?
This week. I told my boyfriend I had reviewed the online shopping list. He knew though. He always knows!
What flaws are enough to prompt you to end a relationship?
Causing me to doubt my self-worth for even a second. I’ve been there before. Never again.
What music are you embarrassed to admit you listen to when you’re alone?
The Now albums. At times I have the musical taste of a 12 year old girl!
What fears keep you up at night?
Monsters eating my toes when I have to put them out from the covers to cool down.
Have you ever stolen anything?
If you had the chance to be invisible for one day, what would you do?
Watch normal people. See what my boyfriend is like when I’m not around. I’m naturally nosy so the chance to see people in unguarded moments would be priceless. I loved shows like Big Brother, Come Dine With Me, etc. when they recruited “regular” people. This was long before they found all the weirdos and turned them into freak shows. Normal human behaviour is fascinating.
And that’s it. That’s me in a bizarre nutshell. For no particular reason other than a blast of nostalgia.
Just read this great post and wanted to share it. It’s called Nobody Cares.
The writer has a style that I love, but it’s probably not for everyone. Essentially his message is a good one though and reminds me of my own “I Love Myself” thoughts last year.
Are you a male or female?
Bitch – Meredith Brooks
How do you feel?
Skipping Stone – Amos Lee
Describe where you currently live:
Virtual Insanity – Jamiroquai
If you could go anywhere, where would you go?:
Empire State of Mind – Jay Z feat. Alicia Keys
What is your favorite form of transportation:
Act a Fool – Ludacris
Your best friend is:
Pretty Woman – Roy Orbison
You and your best friends are:
Count on Me – Bruno Mars
What’s the weather like?:
Purple Rain – Prince
If your life was a TV show, what would it be called?
The Lazy Song – Bruno Mars
Your current relationship?
Someone Like You – Van Morrison
What is the best advice you have to give?
Conversations with my 13 year old self – Pink
Thought for the Day?
Beam Me Up – Pink
Your motto is:
The Things that Stop you Dreaming – Passenger