Random Stuff About Me

I found this over at The War in my Brain and it reminded me of the first days of email. I would get so excited about these!

Who was your strangest crush?
John Malkiovich. I think he’s approx 100 years old but I loved him. Somewhat reinforced by his recent awesomeness.

Do you have any irrational fears?
I will perform all kinds of acrobatic leg-holding-door-arm-reaching-lightswitch manoeuvres to avoid being in my hallway, or any hallway for that matter, in the dark.

Describe your guilty pleasures.
Romance novels. Especially historical ones. I love a good heaving bosom and a forced marriage to a brooding but sensitive Darcy-type.

What is the main thing that attracts you to the opposite sex?
There has to be a physical attraction. thats what might catch my eye initially. But it’s the sense of humour that deals the deal. A guy has to be able to have the banter & match what I dish out.

What is the wildest thing you have ever done so far?
Quit my job to travel the world solo when I’d never so much as eaten alone in a restaurant before.

What is your worst fear?
Snakes. Always has been. I’m trying to be more rational about it but some places I just won’t go eg. Australian bush walking, India, a reptile house.

What is one thing you do regularly that you would never want to be caught doing?
See guilty pleasures!

If you only had 24 hours left to live, what would you do?
Spend it eating chocolate cake with the people I love most in the world. I’d be selfish & selective, only having the exact people I wanted in the room, knowing I’d not have to deal with hurt feelings & recriminations afterwards. Two of those people would be Ben & Jerry!

What is the meanest thing you have ever done?
I stole money from the Lent charity box in my house when I was a kid. To buy sweets. Not exactly murder, but it was a pretty shitty thing to do.

What is the best thing you have ever gotten away with?
I’m pretty sure I should have failed my driving test in a spectacular fashion. I stalled the car twice & almost hit a truck. But somehow I passed.

What is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten?
Raw eel. Cooked, tastes like chicken. Raw, it’s textured how I imagine a snake would be. Based on entry above you can imagine how we’ll that went down…or didn’t in this case!

If you were born again, would you be willing to be born a different sex than you are?
I would actively want to be. Just to see if it made a difference. I’m also fascinated by the whole sex-organ-stuck-onto-the-body thing.

What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve done to get the attention of someone of the opposite sex?
Nothing really. I’m too reserved and often too surprised by the attention to even realise its on me.

What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had?
Years ago I dreamt that I was pregnant and in hospital but my bed was in the morgue. All the other occupants were on slabs with a sheet over their faces. My bed had a little locker & a reading light. When I woke up I reached down to pat my bump & when I discovered it gone I experienced the most devastating rush of loss & panic. It took me several hours to shake it off.

What is the worst thing about being your gender?
Periods. Leg shaving. The ‘glass ceiling’.

What is the last lie you told?
Yes, I’ll follow you down to the cafe for breakfast in just a jiffy darling…<door closes>…zzzzzzz

When is the last time you were caught in a lie?
This week. I told my boyfriend I had reviewed the online shopping list. He knew though. He always knows!

What flaws are enough to prompt you to end a relationship?
Causing me to doubt my self-worth for even a second. I’ve been there before. Never again.

What music are you embarrassed to admit you listen to when you’re alone?
The Now albums. At times I have the musical taste of a 12 year old girl!

What fears keep you up at night?
Monsters eating my toes when I have to put them out from the covers to cool down.

Have you ever stolen anything?
Money.

If you had the chance to be invisible for one day, what would you do?
Watch normal people. See what my boyfriend is like when I’m not around. I’m naturally nosy so the chance to see people in unguarded moments would be priceless. I loved shows like Big Brother, Come Dine With Me, etc. when they recruited “regular” people. This was long before they found all the weirdos and turned them into freak shows. Normal human behaviour is fascinating.

And that’s it. That’s me in a bizarre nutshell. For no particular reason other than a blast of nostalgia.

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Random Stuff About Me

Music for Life

Thanks Sista for bringing this Daily Prompt to my attention. I was super inspired by your post as seen by the fact that I stole borrowed most of your list!

Are you a male or female?
Bitch – Meredith Brooks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSKjTphII3A

How do you feel?
Skipping Stone – Amos Lee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15_v_FmNO6E

Describe where you currently live:
Virtual Insanity – Jamiroquai
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JkIs37a2JE

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?:
Empire State of Mind – Jay Z feat. Alicia Keys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UjsXo9l6I8

What is your favorite form of transportation:
Act a Fool – Ludacris
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TA7gnSyuIik

Your best friend is:
Pretty Woman – Roy Orbison
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQESpRJTgNY

You and your best friends are:
Count on Me – Bruno Mars
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJYXItns2ik

What’s the weather like?:
Purple Rain – Prince
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gt8BeDrMCLI

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called?
The Lazy Song – Bruno Mars
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLexgOxsZu0

Your current relationship?
Someone Like You – Van Morrison
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIrJK19dADI

What is the best advice you have to give?
Conversations with my 13 year old self – Pink
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLMVdZC-9vs

Thought for the Day?
Beam Me Up – Pink
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFYm9LKsuUo

Your motto is:
The Things that Stop you Dreaming – Passenger
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ItrO33Hg48

Music for Life

I Love Myself

After reading a great post on Serendipity this morning I’ve been pondering the questions posed at the end of it:

So … how much have you changed from the person you were in your late teens? What, if anything, do you do completely differently? Do you like the person you’ve become? Are you trying to change? Do you fit in? If you met the young you, what would you tell yourself?

I love being 30. That was my very first thought on reading the questions. It’s funny, I can’t truly explain the shift in my thinking but there has been a significant change in Mina since I entered this new age bracket. Or perhaps it’s down to a combination of things other than age; the death of a parent, a lost love, friendships re-evaluated, travelling the world, finding “the one”, moving to London. Who knows. I think I’m very much still evolving into the person I am destined to be but I think it’s fair to say that I’ve been on quite a journey thus far.

These days I find I am comfortable in myself for the first time in my life. On a “high” level I know that I am a good person. Friends and lovers have come and gone: I can attribute this to the changing tides of life. I don’t find a common ground in a group of strangers: I find it to be disappointing but nothing more than a tiring evening. I find myself in a politically-oriented discussion with nothing to contribute: I chuckle to myself that if the conversation turned to Austen I would be the one holding court. I no longer attribute these occurrences to some defect in my self. I’ve learned to give myself a break. 

On a “lower” note, I wear yoga pants that may or may not in fact be pyjamas, when I run out for my morning coffee. I just ordered a pair of bright red wellies for the winter rain and last week I finally went all the way and got the pixie cut I’ve been lusting after for some time now. These are all quite superficial things but in this case, the outside has come to reflect the inside. These days my outside reflects an internal self that is far less bothered by the opinion of strangers and far more self-loving than ever before. I have even come so far as to realise that, in my own way, I am beautiful

And so, to the questions:

Do I like the person I have become? Yes, yes I do. I’m not there yet of course, I doubt any of us every truly stop evolving, but I can stand before you today and say that I am happy with the progress I have made so far. Mina: she’s okay! 

Am I trying to change? Of course! I want to continue this evolution, I want to continue to fight my dysthymia and I want to be ready for whatever challenges the world throws at me next. But if this is it, if this is “me” then that’s okay too. I reckon that I can get on quite well for the next 50 years or so with this person.

What would I tell my young self? This is a tough one. When I was younger, I figured the day would come when I would love myself because I would be different…a “better” me. Today, I love myself because I am not different. I am essentially the same me that I was when I was 12 years old, lost and alone, struggling to find my place in the world. Except now, I’ve learned to love that me, to value her uniqueness and to accept her flaws. I would tell my younger self: don’t wish to be different, learn to love yourself for who you are, because one day I promise that you will realise you are already a person worthy of your own love. Of course, if I told that to my 12 year old self she would roll her eyes, turn up her East 17 tape, and go back to dreaming about the future blonde, skinny, genetically re-engineered Mina!

I Love Myself

Beauty is in the eye of the holder

If I think about my friends and work colleagues, the people I encounter regularly in my life, I would rate most of the people as “nice” looking, with perhaps one or two exceptions filed in the “beautiful” box. In my entire life I think I have probably encountered no more than 4 people who are truly perfection (here I define perfection to be traffic-stoppingly stunning looking). For most of us, glaring at them on the pages of our weekly fashion mag is the closest we will ever come to these specimens of perfection. We are unlikely to bump into them on the street, unless we regularly shop on Rodeo Drive that is. And yet 97% of women in the UK are dissatisfied with their appearance. The media’s constant hailing of these paragons of beauty is one of the main causes of our sorry state of self-loathing (nothing new there!). The question I ask myself though is this: why are so many of us allowing ourselves to be devalued by so few?

Think about it: how many of these “perfect” individuals do you know? As I look around me on the street I see all types of people: attractive, unattractive, slim, fat, tall, short, quirky, classic, the list goes on. And it makes me think: maybe we are the “normal” ones! We all know multiple Marys, Johns or Annes, not so many Catherine Zetas, Angelinas or Brads. These people are the outliers, the genetically gifted anomalies whose very existence demonstrates the wonders nature is capable of. When genetics and evolution waltz under a waxy moon in the house of jupiter and the cherry blossoms are the exact hue of pink and you add an eye of newt, they are what you get. And it’s wonderful, but it’s certainly not usual. 

Beauty will always be celebrated, and I think it should be. In the same way that I admire a artist’s greatest painting or an architect’s greatest building, I can admire nature’s great works of beauty. None of those, however make me want to be a library! We put these individuals on a pedestal and expend both money and effort trying to replicate the gifts they were born with, which is no more possible than trying to change our race or how many toes we grow. In reality we should expend no more energy than that moment of longing we feel reading a great book, that we have not the capacity to create something so inspiring, or that small regret we feel listening to a beautiful piece of music, that we weren’t born with the ability to compose. We easily dismiss our failures in these arenas of beauty as due to being born without or without a specific gift. Why then are we so harsh on ourselves when faced with physical beauty? After all, one could argue that, with enough practice and tutoring, anybody could sculpt or compose. 

In recent years I have come to realise that I am beautiful in my own way. I’ve not changed physically, I’m still the same ol’ me: my hair still refuses to behave, my legs are still wonky and I still have giant feet. What has changed is my perception, both of myself and of “the beautiful people”. These days I don’t look longingly at magazines and curse my genetic luck. Instead, I wish the people in them luck, both in being able to succeed with the face they’ve been born with or in being able to succeed in spite of it, whichever applies. And you know what, with all the time and energy I’ve saved, I just might write that book I’ve always thought about…

Beauty is in the eye of the holder

Thankful

Inspired by a post over at Wayne’s World of Blogging I decided to follow suit and write down 20 things I’m thankful for, in no particular order and with no particularly deep meaning.

  • My family
  • My amazeballs partner in crime
  • My friends, though oceans separate me from the best ones I can count on them as if they were next door
  • My physical health and the bits of my mental health that work!
  • Chocolate
  • Jane Austen
  • The internet
  • My bed, especially after laundry day
  • My year spent travelling
  • Knowing that year was only the beginning of a life of adventures
  • Coffee
  • Baristas who know what to do with the aforementioned coffee
  • A really good power shower
  • Period dramas
  • Concealer
  • Salt & vinegar crisps
  • 3 day weekends
  • Finding a hairdresser who understands me
  • Fortune cookies
  • Polar bears
Thankful